YOU JUST MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.........Your kids get all pumped when dad announces, "It's time to practice some shootin!" (in the front yard next to the deer feeder that is a constant ornament in our driveway) and they are proud to be waving their guns in broad daylight! ??
You buy your husband a "Leg Lamp" for Christmas, and he actually LIKES IT! ??
You drive your family (7 hours) home from summer vacation in MID-JULY with no air-conditioning and then you take pictures of your child's suffering (and post it)! ??
You check your Grandma out of the local Nursing Home for the day..........
...only to get her drunk at the "family get-together"! ??
You own more than one "Pregnant Barbie" and actually let your kids play with them! ??
You let a thorn "fester" in your thumb for 3 months... 
...and the Dr. who finally cuts it out tries to eat it! ??
...and the Dr. who finally cuts it out tries to eat it! ??
Your kids are jumping, hollering, & yelling, "Stab IT, Daddy! Stab IT, Daddy!" as he tortures the "captured attic rat" with his pocketknife! ??
You have a fly this big on the lamp next to you, (not to mention all the dust to go with it), and you can't smash him with the fly-swatter because you tell your husband, "He's been buzzing around here for so long now, he feels like part of the family!" ??
You pretend to be taking your sweet daughters' pictures eating Smores' while on vacation, only to really be getting a shot of the gal in the pink bikini leaning over the fire pit, because your husband thinks she is "smokin' hot"! ??
You have a fly this big on the lamp next to you, (not to mention all the dust to go with it), and you can't smash him with the fly-swatter because you tell your husband, "He's been buzzing around here for so long now, he feels like part of the family!" ??
You pretend to be taking your sweet daughters' pictures eating Smores' while on vacation, only to really be getting a shot of the gal in the pink bikini leaning over the fire pit, because your husband thinks she is "smokin' hot"! ??
Your friend receives a "Spa Kit" made out of "Maxi-Pads" for Christmas and loves it, while the other guests fight over it! ??
Your girls actually enjoy posing with the very large rattlesnake that dad brought home from work, and ask to print off the pictures to take to "Show & Tell" (because taking the real thing is simply not allowed)! ??
Is it embarrassing that this list could go on and on??......as a girl born and raised on "Wilson Lane" and mighty proud of it! All I can say is......"You can take the girl outta the country, but ya can't take the country outta the girl!"
1 comment:
That was hilarious! :D I needed a good laugh. Thanks for sharing your adventures, they are always so funny.
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