Monday, May 18, 2009

Class, Tomorrow our Share Reader will be Mr. Pitt!

I was reading my Bible my favorite Tabloid magazine the other day when I ran across an article that was informing its intelligent readers, like myself, that in a small suburb of New York, Mr. Pitt, Brad Pitt, that is, has been making surprise stop-ins to his kid's school and reading to the class. The school had noticed a surprisingly different appearance in the other mothers lately. Women who were once draped in bathrobes, ballcaps, and socks to drop their kids off at the curb had now turned into stiletto, skinny jean, colorful make-up wearing Cougars, who were now WALKING their kids into school all the way to the classroom!

I found this article exceptionally amusing. As I've mentioned before, I live approximately 2ft a couple of hundred yards from the front door of our elementary school, therefore making it essential that I get dressed in the same pair of shorts & t-shirt every morning, complete with a bra, try to stuff my hair under a ballcap, find a pair of half-way matching flip-flops, and parade my child to the front door of her school each day of the week. As we take our daily walk, I get to see our very own version of the pre-Pitt moms that the magazine made mention of, in their cars making their daily drop-offs.

Most all moms enter the dropoff lane with a large mug of some sort in their hand with a cloud of steam billowing around the top, a small lap dog, mostly poodles, with their nose sticking out the side window, barking rabid-like at my daughter and I, just hoping we stick our finger out at them, so they can get a bite. Most moms have a head full of curlers or a ballcap on top, no one is usually dressed, unless of course they are off for their morning tennis match, then it's a full workout tank and mini-skirt. Sometimes, I'll even catch a glimpse of a dad or two that were bribed or suckered into dropoff duty that morning. Most all have smoke shooting from their tires as they tear out of the dropoff lane onto the main street, as they now only have 7 hours until they have to return to the pickup lane! (Please note: I am not making fun, I am actually extremely jealous and somewhat resentful that I actually have to don a bra 180 days out of the year just to get my kid to school)!!

I have to laugh as I think about what we all would do if a memo came home in our child's green folder informing us that a guest share reader named Mr. Pitt would be coming to read the next day!? I'm guessing Steinmart would be packed that evening, as we all fight to try and find us a new sparkling dropoff suit. I imagine that the dropoff lane would be pretty vacant as most minivans would be parked in that packed parking lot, as us Cougars,un-selfishly, hand-delivered our children to their classrooms. and.... I'm guessing there would not be a dad in sight, as all of us moms would insist on their darling, handsome husbands taking the morning off, just relaxing, and enjoying their we lovingly assure them........"I have dropoff taken care of, honey, because I was planning on staying for share reading today anyway!"

I just hope that if the Jolie-Pitt family does ever decide to come visit our little town, #1. he wears his shirt like that and #2. us Cougars have some kind of fair warning!

This lioness needs a new bra pair of matching flip-flops!!

1 comment:

Welcome To My Loud Life said...

OK, that was truly LAUGH-OUT-LOUD funny, Melissa!